Red-headed Nicoletta was as high as a migrating goose, not on chemicals, but because she had won the lottery. Twice. Firstly, last Tuesday, she had fallen in love with Vittorio, tall, dark and Tuscan. Secondly she had won a free trip. Not any trip, but an excursion in a Faster Than Light Vehicle. This to a mystery planet, guaranteed to be at least 30 million light years away.Not knowing the weather at her destination, she packed both warm and cool clothes, also a ballroom dress. Who knows what fiestas the locals would organise in her honour? Plus toothpaste and toilet paper. Her one regret was leaving Vittorio behind. Abstinence makes the heart grow fonder, she consoled herself, while spraying a citrus fragrance on her neck, the one that had helped her win his Latin heart.
After a flight of just 17 minutes in a padded egg-shaped cubicle with a single plush, purple armchair, the door opened and there she was, on Sira178, an exoplanet (actually the 13th) of a binary star system consisting of a mismatch between a red dwarf and a white supergiant.
It was warm, sunny (doubly so) and there was a slight oxygen breeze, which ruffled the feathers of a row of birds perched on a grey travertine outcrop, set against an impossibly verdant jungle. The birds sported festive horns and were as large as camels but more placid. Their plumage a cacophony of colours, all those known on earth, plus a dozen she had not seen before. Naturally, the first thing she did was skip up to the birds to rattle off selfies.
The animals were nonchalant, as they had met earthlings before. They puffed up their chests and tried to look like flamenco dancers.
They knew every homo sap wanted the same thing, photos to make their friends dissolve in a pool of envy.